Perpetual Pregnancy

I promised to do a post about all of the reasons I love NOT living in America.  But, I've had a hard time coming up with a list, per se.


As of this month, we've been ex-pats for 6 years.  Which means that I've spent more of my marriage living like *this* than I did living like a *normal* person.  Not that ex-pats aren't Normal.  But in my experience it takes a particular kind of person to be willing (eager?) to embark on the adventure of Living Outside of one's own culture.  Some of that requires the ability to disconnect and/or accept the (at least physical) separation from family and friends.  Another big piece of it is the fact that we are all shaped by our external environments. So, once you check-out of your Hometown or Home State or Home Country...it's really hard to go back and check back IN.  I don't mean to say we're not welcome back, but life goes on in the places we leave....and life goes on inside one's own nuclear family.  I know I've been changed permanently by having left Home.  And I honestly think I'm better for it.  There is a fabulous quote in the book The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri, "For being a foreigner, Ashima is beginning to realize, is a sort of lifelong pregnancy-- a perpetual wait, a constant burden, a continuous feeling out of sorts. It is an ongoing responsibility, a parenthesis in what had once been ordinary life, only to discover that that previous life has vanished, replaced by something more complicated and demanding. Like pregnancy, being a foreigner, Ashima believes, is something that elicits the same curiosity from strangers, the same combination of pity and respect." 

Since I am, at best, a writer of satire and purveyor of sarcastic wit...I don't have Ms. Lahiri's graceful way with words.  My interpretation of the above quote is that, essentially, once you Move Away you aren't ever truly at Home. Because you will never belong in a country and culture that is not your own...but you will not ever truly feel comfortable and at home in the place you previously inhabited.  Oh, yeah.  And pregnancy is a Freakshow.  Does anybody really want to star in a Freakshow (aside from Charlie Sheen, I mean)?

The way I've gotten around feeling completely isolated and lonely (bottles of wine notwithstanding) is to jump in with both feet into the expat community.  It's a bustling arena of People who don't fit in...anywhere.  Or maybe...we can fit in anywhere?  I have friends of nearly every race, culture, creed, religion and sexual orientation.  Each one of them has affected me and changed me.  Whether I walked away thinking "Wow, I love the way He thinks about politics" or "Man, that chick is NUTS"...it's made me think about how I live and the choices I make and I think that being mindful of our choices and the movements we make each day makes us better people.  At least I'm thinking about being a better person.  It doesn't stop me from going bananas on the kids when they smear their greasy neon colored Fruit Roll-Up handprints on my sofa or walls.  And yeah.  I let them have Fruit Roll Ups...for the record, they fall into the "Treat" category and not the "Fruit and Veggie" category.  Judge me if you will.  I actually remember loving Fruit Bars and Fun Fruits myself as a kid...and as I've said before Food Is Joy and I choose not to live a joyless life.  I also hope my kids find joy in flavors and experiences...whatever that may mean.

Another funny thing I've realized recently is that Home isn't just Colorado anymore.  When The Husband and I made our first Move (Chicago!  Not exactly exotic but seeing as we were both born and raised in the Rockies and our parents both grew up there...it was a big assertion of independence), we spent a lot of time Missing the big open blue sky over the Rockies.  We missed the streets and the dry air and Coors Light and watching The Broncos live on local TV (or even better at Mile High Stadium).  Then we moved to Switzerland and we learned that we missed things that were generically American (see Miss America), but also things that were specifically Chicagoan.  I STILL miss Chargrilled Chicago Dogs, and I only lived in The Second City (Oh!!  Second City!!) for 18 months!  I can't even count the hours spent doctoring recipes, scouring markets and grocery stores and trying out restaurants trying to find a "taste" of home in Switzerland.  Despite our proximity to Italy, it was impossible to find Italian Sausage in Switzerland,  so I learned to Make My Own.  I imported things like Peanut Butter, Bagels, Cheetos, and A1 sauce.  But despite all of my bellyachin'...it seems I also fell in love a little with Swiss life.  Now, in Hong Kong, I miss artisan quality bread, croissants and pain au chocolat.  I miss having delicious coffee at every tiny restaurant (or gas station for that matter) anywhere in the Country.  I miss clear skies and Lac Leman, and the view from St. Saphorin.  I miss the predictability of the Swiss.  Life in Switzerland is rife with rules and regulations.  But you Know that your neighbor will never mow their lawn on Sunday.  And you now that if you step into the crosswalk, the cars will stop for you.  And you know that your dog is welcome at the local 2-Michelin-star cafe.  And you know that when you've made a friend (local or Expat) the will remain that way.  Because making friends in that environment provides some kind of cement.  So far I am loving life in Hong Kong (I think a post about the top 10 best things about life in HK might be imminent), partially because everything you could possibly desire is available to you.  I wonder what I will miss most about HK when it's time to move on.  (Duh!  It will be the Helper!)

Seriously, though.  What I love most about not living in America is that I am exposed to different opinions, ideas, cultures, socio-economic diversity, and ideologies.  I realize that if you took a cross-section of the US you'd get that. But when you live in one place you tend to get one thing.  Or one flavor if you will.  And it turns out, while I'll always be a girl that goes back to Vanilla...every once in a while a scoop of Caramel Swirl or Pistachio is pretty amazing, too.  I'm incredibly excited to be going "Home" this summer...the Circus/Broccoli family has a lot of exciting things in the pipeline....and I've got a list of friends and family I need to catch up with that is beginning to frighten me.  But I'll work it out, with the help of my iCal and (thanks to my emulating one very amazing Clemsongirl) a clipboard with a monogrammed Sharpie.